Alex was a 22-year-old artist, her vibrant paintings and infectious laughter a mask for the anxiety simmering beneath. The pressure to excel—at her craft, in life—was a tightening noose she couldn’t escape. She loved her art, but the world’s expectations weighed heavy. The breaking point came when critics shredded her latest exhibition. “Talentless,” they sneered. “Amateur.” The words burrowed deep, gnawing at her self-worth. Brushes stayed untouched, laughter faded, and Alex withdrew into a suffocating cocoon of despair. Days melted into nights. She lay in bed, trapped by a paralyzing fog of fear and hopelessness. Her mind turned traitor, whispering that she’d never be enough, that the pain could end if she just... stopped. Those thoughts terrified her, yet they lingered, seductive and persistent. She was drowning in an abyss of her own making. One night, a flicker of defiance sparked. With shaking hands, Alex called Mia, her best friend. “I need help,” she croaked, voice barely audible. Mia didn’t hesitate. She arrived, a steady presence cutting through the dark, and insisted Alex see someone. Together, they found Dr. Patel, a therapist whose calm demeanor felt like a lifeline. In Dr. Patel’s office, Alex began untangling the chaos in her head. She spoke of the critics, the shame, the relentless panic. Through tears, she learned to challenge the lies her mind spun—replacing “I’m worthless” with “I’m trying.” Breathing exercises anchored her when panic surged, and mindfulness became a quiet refuge. Recovery wasn’t a straight path. Some days, Alex painted again, her strokes bold and alive; others, the shadows crept back, whispering old doubts. A spilled coffee once sent her spiraling, but she clawed her way out with tools Dr. Patel taught her. Each stumble taught resilience, each victory built strength. Months later, Alex faced a blank canvas. Her heart raced—not with fear, but with hope. She painted, pouring her scars and triumphs into every hue. The result was raw, beautiful—a testament to survival. At her next exhibition, the crowd cheered, but Alex’s quiet pride outshone their praise. She’d risen from the abyss, not unscathed, but unbroken. The shadows might return, she knew. But with Mia’s unwavering support and Dr. Patel’s guidance, Alex faced the future unflinching—a living proof that even in darkness, light could be found.

Around 2021-2022 my girlfriend had to move to Florida away from ct we had been dating for about 4 years at that point. We never had any issues or whatnot and when she told me it absolutely just broke me. I couldn’t process what it would feel like without her and it really took a toll on my mental and physical health for about 2 years or so maybe a little less 1 year and a half. I lost 30lbs didn’t go out much I was in and out of the hospital for suicide I was cutting and in and out of multiple group therapy and private therapy. What really changed for me was I started smoking weed which I couldn’t be sad while high my body just wouldn’t allow it. So I was constantly smoking everyday during school before school after school in my house in my car didn’t matter — (I don’t wanna make this too long so) — about October of 2023 I started going to the gym with my buddy. I was always told being active helps with depression but I didn’t believe it / didn’t want to workout but it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I hated it at first didn’t want to go felt small and awkward in there but after the first 6 months i genuinely felt way happier I looked better then I had before and I was gaining weight back. Currently and have been at the point where I’ve quit weed I’ve quit nicotine both are bad for you. And I get sad when I can’t go to the gym I love it and if anyone it’s struggling with depression or anything the biggest mindset for me was I allowed myself to be depressed. I didn’t put the effort in to fix myself and I allowed it to happen. I think the gym— running— going for hikes— just being outside and doing something helps so much more then you realize I occupy my time with work and the gym so much I don’t have time to be sad or anything. It just ain’t feasible I hope this helps anyone going through something similar biggest thing my therapist used to say was “one day or day one”

Ive been through the ringer of emotions this past few months. Ups and downs. Mostly downs. Ups have been good enough to keep me going but the downs are big enough to open my eyes to what really around me. How I'm treated. Lack of appreciation and respect towards me. I'm feeling a sense of relief from this realization. Nearly like the relief one would feel the day they choose to end it all. But I'm not ending my life. Just might be changing a path I'm on. These changes may not even be drastic. I've been working towards healing my mental health amd THAT may have a huge factor to my current mental state. Either way I can't wait for mid march to see my family again. I miss you fellas.

Today it finally snowed in CT, which is refreshing since winters have been warmer and warmer. But I find myself writing here today feeling somewhat back in a subtle rut similar to when I didn't leave my apartment for about 6 months. It's not nearly as drastic and I'm not nearly as depressed but something about me still feels the same. I can't help but think about my wants and goals and everything I'm lacking in the present. This feeling comes from a lack of structure and responsibility for me, as well as routine. I know what to do to kick start the change I'm looking for but still I find myself stagnant. I give myself the grace of time and going through the process but clearly struggle with drawing the line... I know I'm growing in the direction I want, just based off of my growing desire for the better, and the diminishing desire for the things that don't add positive value. One day at a time I tell myself. It just starts with doing one thing different than what's got me caught in an unfortunate cycle. Once that action is taken the rest can compound on top of it. At least that's where I'm at.

The past month or two have been so hectic. Today it all comes to an abrupt halt. I'm finally out of the woods with all of the responsibilities that come with this time of year. I can finally lower my shoulders and relax. I can finally look up and enjoy the sunrise.

As the weather starts to get colder and my immune system fights off a cold. I find myself reminded of the bittersweet tune to life. From people passing, to coming back from a vacation, life always seem to find a way to leave us feeling bittersweet. For me? It's starting to feel sick knowing I'm so close to a break and a breakthrough. It's my favorite part about life believe it or not. Reminds me I can't have the good without the bad, keeps me more in the moment. I guess when life's starting to trend towards a drag and regular tasks seem easier to ignore. Those are the times to push through within reason and hold yourself accountable. Otherwise, from my own experiences you'll end up repeating the same cycle of minimal progress.

Sometimes taking a day to spend with the family heals more than you realize it does. Take time for yourself, but also take time for them too. It helps.

It’s been frustrating trying to be exactly what people are thinking me to be. No matter what I try, no matter the amount of effort, no matter anything I do, I yield the same result. It’s hard to stay away from the feeling of giving up when anything I do feels like it’s thrown in my face as something with the opposite intention I had. It’s driving me crazy and I’m running out of ideas to progress forward. It is out of my control, it doesn’t stem from me. I’m just caught in the crosshairs.

Sometimes I'm just functioning to get to the end of the day. But that's okay because that means I haven't given up yet.

I took on a little more today. But I am feeling strangely less overwhelmed by doing so. So maybe it's not that I have too much on my shoulders, but that I actually just need to manage my time better. Taking control over my own schedule seems to have a really strong, positive impact on my mental health. Having good friends around helps too

How much is too much? When will I crushed under all the yes's I've said to put smiles on the face of everyone else? Will I ever know when enough is enough or will I run myself into the ground by over extending? These are the questions I ask myself as life passes Me by in the blink of an eye. But the only way I know how to find out is to run straight towards it!

There's so much on my shoulders but nothing can be taken away. 😪 knowing I have people depending on my both stresses me out and makes me feel needed and strong because I'm still going. But how long will my gas last? Does this road I'm on take any unexpected turns? Things are always looking better so I must be coming up on a gas station soon. I'll make sure to fill up when I get there.