I was having the worst day when I noticed a man handing out flowers on the Santa Monica Pier. He gave me a sunflower with a card that read, "Even on cloudy days, the sun is always there." I didn’t cry until I got home, but that simple gesture turned my day around. Weeks later, I started volunteering to pay that kindness forward.

In the chaos of a bustling downtown, I saw a woman sitting on the sidewalk, crying. People walked past, pretending not to notice. I hesitated but then knelt beside her and asked, "Do you need a hug?" She nodded, and I held her as she sobbed. She later told me she had just received devastating news and felt utterly alone. That hug made her believe someone cared.

I was walking across the Golden Gate Bridge when I noticed a man staring into the distance. Something in his posture made me stop. I approached him and said, "Beautiful view, huh?" He looked startled but nodded. We ended up talking for an hour, about life, dreams, and regrets. He later admitted he had planned to jump but felt seen for the first time in years. That day changed both our lives.

A small café downtown became my safe haven after my divorce. I’d sit at the same table every Saturday, journaling. One morning, the barista slipped me a coffee cup with "You’re stronger than you think" written on the lid. I looked up, and she smiled. Over time, we became friends, and she became the first person I told about my struggles. That café wasn't just a place for coffee—it was where I rediscovered myself.

Last week, I was feeling overwhelmed. My thoughts were dark, and I couldn’t see a way out. While walking through Central Park, I stopped to sit on a bench and found a folded note tucked between the slats. It read: "You matter. Whatever you're facing will pass. Keep going." I burst into tears, realizing a stranger had somehow reached me when I needed it most. I still carry that note as a reminder to believe in better days.

On a stormy autumn evening, I was walking home when I saw a woman sitting on the curb, drenched and trembling. She had a lost look in her eyes. Without thinking, I handed her my umbrella and sat beside her in the rain. "Are you okay?" I asked. She broke into tears, explaining she had just lost her job and felt invisible to the world. I stayed with her until the rain stopped, and we talked about her love for photography. That moment taught me how much kindness can mean, even when life feels bleak.

Today it finally snowed in CT, which is refreshing since winters have been warmer and warmer. But I find myself writing here today feeling somewhat back in a subtle rut similar to when I didn't leave my apartment for about 6 months. It's not nearly as drastic and I'm not nearly as depressed but something about me still feels the same. I can't help but think about my wants and goals and everything I'm lacking in the present. This feeling comes from a lack of structure and responsibility for me, as well as routine. I know what to do to kick start the change I'm looking for but still I find myself stagnant. I give myself the grace of time and going through the process but clearly struggle with drawing the line... I know I'm growing in the direction I want, just based off of my growing desire for the better, and the diminishing desire for the things that don't add positive value. One day at a time I tell myself. It just starts with doing one thing different than what's got me caught in an unfortunate cycle. Once that action is taken the rest can compound on top of it. At least that's where I'm at.

The past month or two have been so hectic. Today it all comes to an abrupt halt. I'm finally out of the woods with all of the responsibilities that come with this time of year. I can finally lower my shoulders and relax. I can finally look up and enjoy the sunrise.

As the weather starts to get colder and my immune system fights off a cold. I find myself reminded of the bittersweet tune to life. From people passing, to coming back from a vacation, life always seem to find a way to leave us feeling bittersweet. For me? It's starting to feel sick knowing I'm so close to a break and a breakthrough. It's my favorite part about life believe it or not. Reminds me I can't have the good without the bad, keeps me more in the moment. I guess when life's starting to trend towards a drag and regular tasks seem easier to ignore. Those are the times to push through within reason and hold yourself accountable. Otherwise, from my own experiences you'll end up repeating the same cycle of minimal progress.

Sometimes taking a day to spend with the family heals more than you realize it does. Take time for yourself, but also take time for them too. It helps.

It’s been frustrating trying to be exactly what people are thinking me to be. No matter what I try, no matter the amount of effort, no matter anything I do, I yield the same result. It’s hard to stay away from the feeling of giving up when anything I do feels like it’s thrown in my face as something with the opposite intention I had. It’s driving me crazy and I’m running out of ideas to progress forward. It is out of my control, it doesn’t stem from me. I’m just caught in the crosshairs.

Sometimes I'm just functioning to get to the end of the day. But that's okay because that means I haven't given up yet.

I took on a little more today. But I am feeling strangely less overwhelmed by doing so. So maybe it's not that I have too much on my shoulders, but that I actually just need to manage my time better. Taking control over my own schedule seems to have a really strong, positive impact on my mental health. Having good friends around helps too

How much is too much? When will I crushed under all the yes's I've said to put smiles on the face of everyone else? Will I ever know when enough is enough or will I run myself into the ground by over extending? These are the questions I ask myself as life passes Me by in the blink of an eye. But the only way I know how to find out is to run straight towards it!

There's so much on my shoulders but nothing can be taken away. 😪 knowing I have people depending on my both stresses me out and makes me feel needed and strong because I'm still going. But how long will my gas last? Does this road I'm on take any unexpected turns? Things are always looking better so I must be coming up on a gas station soon. I'll make sure to fill up when I get there.